


everlasting

by bloomingbruise



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bottom Oh Sehun, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Immortality, M/M, Minor Character Death, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, and sexy times, highkey based on tuck everlasting, its not what you think, its nothing AWFUL, or maybe it is?????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-03-09 05:29:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13474647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomingbruise/pseuds/bloomingbruise
Summary: ev·er·last·ingadjective1. lasting forever or for a very long time.sehun can remember when he met jongin as a child; a similar feeling fills his gut meeting him again as an adult.





	1. Chapter 1

sehun was five the first time he met jongin.

the older was tall and sturdy, appearing as if he was a hero from one of the books sehun’s mother read to him each night before she put him to sleep. almost animated in the younger’s eyes.

the other had stumbled across him in a pizzeria corner, three equally handsome men trailing behind him. sehun’s best friends, kyungsoo and chanyeol, on either side of him as the youngest cried over the claw machine.

he remembered the way his brow quirked curiously, stopping dead in his tracks from his route and moving towards the child with a grin against his cheeks. had it been another, less dazzling man, sehun would’ve cried harder but something about him soothed the little boy. the man reached behind sehun’s ear, only to pull a coin out from behind it. the younger smiled, amazed before the older put it in the machine and fished out a toy.

“you don’t need to cry anymore, baby,” his voice was like honey. he patted the boy’s head before walking away.

chanyeol and kyungsoo looked to sehun with wide eyes.

“those were the kims,” chanyeol exhaled in amazement.

“the kims aren’t real,” kyungsoo snapped.

scratching his head, sehun looked to his friends. “who are the kims?” he rubbed the dried tears from his cheeks.

“them,” chanyeol cooed.

..

sehun was seventeen the second time he met jongin. it had been a long time and the man was almost forgotten. he and his two misfit friends loitered around a gas station parking lot. chanyeol had just got kicked out for trying to buy a bottle of cheap vodka underaged. and now they sat against a wall. bored and pouting.

the older had been pumping gas not even a few feet away, hip popped out. the car was full of watching eyes. he didn’t recognize the teen from their first encounter years ago. but had become a hazy figure in sehun’s mind, convincing himself that he was just a fever dream.

“why the long faces, kids?” his brow quirked, just like sehun remembered.

“we’re not kids,” kyungsoo replied, chanyeol puffed out his chest to agree. sehun just sunk deeper in himself.

their reactions caused a chuckle to rumble from then older’s chest. nodding slowly along with them. “and how old are you guys then?”

“seventeen,” they mumbled in unison.

“ahhhhhh,” he nodded softly, “i remember what it was like to be seventeen. feels like it’s been decades though. so what’s wrong?”

“we tried to buy alcohol,” sehun said sheepishly, kyungsoo elbowed him in the ribs for exposing them, making him whine. “hey— anyway... the manager caught us and kicked us out.”

“sounds like you guys wanna grow up too fast.” his voice was cool, non judgment. the pump clicked and jongin went in to pay, leaving them behind.

sehun watched him through the dirty windows as he shuffled through the rows, grabbing what looked like a bottle and going to the counter. the manager was much nicer to him than he was to sehun’s friend. he walked back out with nonchalance, setting the bottle on the ground in front of the teens and got back in his car.

“don’t go crazy,” he said, before slamming the door and zooming off.

sehun felt unnerved and amazed just as he did when he was five.

“i swear they were the kims,” chanyeol exhaled.

“the kims aren’t real,” kyungsoo snapped.

..

sehun was twenty-three the third time he met jongin. winter air nipped at his skin as he bummed a cigarette from kyungsoo, a lighter from chanyeol. they stood behind a night club, brisk air sobering him up quickly.

“can you guys not do that in front of me?” he turned away from chanyeol and kyungsoo, the taller’s nose pressed in the other’s neck, fingers dug in his pocket.

“you should be used to it by now,” kyungsoo shrugged. he was right. they had been touchy feely since they were kids.

“maybe he’s just lonely,” chanyeol chuckled.

company came to them, spilling out the door with soft chatter. “i’m not going to stand out here while you smoke jongin,” one reprimanded.

“i just want to go back to the bar, it’s too cold,” another sighed.

“don’t be such a killjoy, minseok,” sehun’s eyes flickered curiously to a familiar voice, “it’s not like it’s going to kill me, jun.”

his smirk knocked the air from sehun’s lungs.

chanyeol tugged him by the collar, bringing sehun closer to the couple. “i think those are the kims,” he said through clenched teeth.

“the kims are not real,” kyungsoo replied, uncaring.

the youngest was unphased by his friends words, watching as the three slipped back in the door. he, who must’ve been jongin, pulled a cigarette out from behind his ear, flicking his lighter on.

“it’s too cold sehun,” chanyeol whined.

“i’m staying out here for a little longer,” he took one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it to the concrete. “can i bum one more, soo?”

the smaller just shook his head. “you already owe me several packs sehunnie.” slipping his hand into chanyeol’s, they returned to the warmth of the building.

sehun sighed. he tried hard to ignore the other, feeling their gaze fall on him.

“hey,” they called out, tone soft. sehun pretended not the hear. this did him no good, he could see in his peripherals the way he bounced off the wall, sauntering towards sehun. “hey—“ he repeated, his tone cooler this time. now sehun couldn’t ignore him. his eyes met the other’s body, moving from his feet up. just watching the way he pulled the carton of cigarettes from his pocket and carefully plucked one out. sehun’s lips parted involuntarily, the perfect time for the other to slip the stick between them. “i heard your friends say no to another,” his voice was soft, bringing his lighter to sehun’s filled lips, “thought i’d offer.”

had he not inhaled any smoke, sehun swore he would have no more air to breathe.

“thanks.”

“i’m jongin, kim jongin,” he said. and sehun wanted to say he’s heard. he wanted to say they’ve met. briefly and a long time ago. that the memories he had, he clung to. remembering the flustered feeling that filled his gut as a child. as a teen. in the present. sehun waited a beat too long, jongin’s eyes grew curiously concerned. “and you are?”

“sehun,” his voice was cool. purposefully detached. jongin has stuck in his mind for years but he was just a new face to the other.

fresh meat.

“i don’t think i’ve seen you around before,” he observed, curling a finger against his chin. to this, sehun just scoffed. “i would know if i’d seen you.”

“yeah this isn’t really my scene,” he shrugged, “my friends... they were tired of parties with people we knew. and having to explain themselves, their relationship. you know how the people you’ve known since you were kids can be,” sehun sighed, watching as jongin nodded along thoughtfully. “they dragged me with them but i prefer intimate settings. you can’t get that from a dance floor or a bar.”

jongin gasped and it was the prettiest sound sehun had heard. “the dance floor? not intimate? that’s the most intimate place you can go.”

daggers shot from sehun’s eyes to the other, though he stayed silent.

“i mean it, you don’t believe me but it’s true. i’ve met some very dear friends on the dance floor,” he sounded sweet, sincere.

“friends, huh?”

“i’ll show you,” a crooked grin wore against jongin’s cheeks, wrapping his fingers around sehun’s wrists and pulling him inside.

inside the club, it was darker than the night sky. blue lights tinting everything and had jongin not been holding him by the hand, sehun would’ve lost him in the crowd. sweat filled the air, sweat covered bodies. “need a drink?” jongin paused with a grin filling his cheeks, to which the other just dumbly nodded before being dragged to the bar.

“minseok!” he knocked on the countertop, “i need two drinks.” he who must’ve been minseok groaned at the sight of jongin and slid over. “what do you want?” jongin looked to sehun.

“uh.... something delicious.” his mind refused to work with the other so close. an arm snaked around his waist, their sides knocking against each their. sehun’s heart knocking against his ribcage.

“make my friend sehun here something delicious.” jongin licked his lips as his eyes travelled over sehun. minseok rolled his eyes but did as he was requested. “you really never come here? i swear there’s something familiar about you.” they both studied each other, a tango of their eyes.

“nope, never been.”

“huh,” jongin shrugged, “makes sense. if i would’ve seen you here before, i know i wouldn’t have been able to stay away. i’d be done for, dead. but still. something about you...”

he trailed off and sehun had the urge to tell him. tell of his memories. the peculiar thing about them though, was jongin. he looked no older than that first meeting. his eyes still bright. jaw molded perfectly. his skin has not wrinkled, but rather looked tighter. sehun knew he himself was bound to age from five to twenty-three. a few feet and broad shoulders. but even if jongin was decades older, he would’ve grown too. bags beneath his eyes, lines over his face. yet nothing showed.

curious.

“you’re familiar too,” sehun’s voice was quiet against the bass.

minseok passed them their drinks, earning a startled gasp from sehun and a chuckle from  
jongin. “two.... ‘something deliciouses’, enjoy boys.”

they gulped down their drinks with haste, sehun needed the courage and jongin needed the rush. pressing their bodies together, jongin played with the hair at the back of sehun’s head. “fancy a dance?”

sehun couldn’t say no.

the dance floor was full of sweaty bodies pressed against each other. but nobody looked as sinful as sehun and jongin— though the former would thank the other for that. their bodies moved together with no space in between, jongin stood behind sehun. his fingers lifted the other’s shirt a bit, pressing against hot, exposed skin. he crashed into sehun and had their clothes not been there, their actions would’ve been carnal. instead, the friction drove jongin to madness and sehun could feel it.

it rumbled in him too.

lights smoothed over them, the bass thumping through their bodies but this only gave jongin a beat to move to. curling his fingers against sehun’s shoulders, he bent sehun over, their bodies still moving. he let out a moan that got swallowed by the music. by the crowd. jongin’s hand wrapped around him, palming his crotch. sehun could feel himself harden, gasping at the shock. when he turned to glance back at the other, a wicked smirk pressed against his lips.

he pulled sehun back against his chest. “come away with me,” he mumbled in sehun’s ear. the music almost overtook his velvet voice but sehun nodded and allowed jongin to pull him away.

they moved away from the dance floor, finding a stairwell behind the bar. “i was hoping for something more private,” sehun’s voice was quiet, red covering his cheeks.

jongin just smiled and whisked him up. “i live here,” he chuckled, unlocking a door and trailing sehun through the suite above the club. privacy was all they had now. the music below them was no more than a murmur, their heartbeats were louder. jongin pulled sehun into his arms. “am i allowed to kiss you?”

“you did far worse in the dance floor,” sehun scoffed, fingers twisted a piece of hair that had fallen to jongin forehead. “consider this your formal invitation to do more than kiss me.”

jongin’s eyes widened with amazement, he and the other wore matching smirks which he decided to kiss away. slipping his hands into sehun’s back pockets, he backed him into the bedroom and pressed him into the door he closed behind them. “just remember you gave me a formal invitation,” jongin breathed against his neck. lips tore across skin, fingers tore buttons off to expose a beautiful chest.

and he let out the most agonizing gasp.

jongin swore in all his life he had never witnessed such beauty. sehun was the most incredible person he had seen. he was broad and long, his smile oozed modesty; as if he had all the tools to ruin many lives but was blissfully unaware he could do so. jongin was terrified of being one of those many. he chose not to dwell on it now but rather soak in this moment. soak him in.

“you’re absolutely,” jongin paused, spinning sehun around so his palms pressed against the door. his chest met the others back, ridding him of his shirt and discarding his own. “beautiful,” he finished in an exhale. warm breath covering pale skin, fingertips skimming down his spine.

jongin’s knees met the wood floor and sehun’s lips met a gasp as the other yanked down his jeans in one swift movement.

“remember, you asked me,” jongin snickered. and all sehun could do was whimper, egging the other on. lithe fingers kneaded his ass, lips pressed against the dip were his spine ended and sehun swore the room grew hotter. he grew dizzy. “you’re absolutely perfect,” jongin growled. pressing his hand against the small of sehun’s back, he moved him down the door, stretching out his spine and bending him over. jongin was amazed.

gently jongin speed him apart, a warm tongue meeting his eager entrance.

“fuck, jongin,” cried, shocked as the other eased him open. jongin liked the way his names sounded on his lips. so many things tried to escape his mouth but it was all lost in the pleasure as jongin added a finger. and another. scissoring him open and sehun felt moans leak from his lips as jongin reached around to give some attention to sehun’s aching cock. it wasn’t before he was begging to be fucked.

“please.”

with that, jongin paused. stopping his movements and retracting his hands. this disappointed the other for only a moment before hearing jongin’s belt hit the floor. pants following. stepping out of his own jeans, fingers gripped his waist.

“i don’t know how i want you first,” he felt the whisper on his skin, jongin’s plush lips sucking where his neck and shoulders met. “i think against the door will do, don’t you?”

sehun’s eyes fluttered to a close at the velvet purr, being spun and slammed back against the wood. jongin’s fingers slid beneath his ass, urging sehun to wrap his legs around his waist. once he did and their hips met, starting became much easier.

eager.

both of them grew needy, jongin’s head teasing sehun’s entrance. though who grew more impatient from it, was unclear.

“fuck me already,” he whined, fingers curling around strands of hair, “please baby—“

his words were punctuated by a lecherous moan as jongin sank his cock into the other, bringing sehun down in his arms.

their groans harmonized as sehun reveled in the feeling of being filled by jongin. the pain was not dull, nor was the pleasure. jongin’s eyes rolled back at the tightness of sehun, wrapping around him perfectly. he felt his knees grow weak, stabilizing the other against the door.

“are you okay?” jongin’s voice was husky. sehun just nodded. “can i move?” sehun’s eyes begged for it.

slowly jongin rocked into sehun, strong arms cradled the latter. bringing him closer. closer. close against his chest. teeth dragged over his neck, nibbling against his jaw before two pairs of sweet, needy lips met. moaning as they did so. while jongin had seemed more desperate for the closeness, sehun curled his arms tighter, bringing their foreheads together once their lips broke apart and slowly he began rocking against jongin. chasing his own ecstasy.

“you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve seen,” jongin’s words came out earnestly, despite their position, there was a sweet sincerity in his tone. “i only want to look at you, ever. forever.” sehun chalked that one up to passion. though he couldn’t deny that the gaze jongin held had him hypnotized too.

quiet by nature, sehun’s moans were the loudest he had been in his life. his back beat against the door in a hard rhythm just like their hips. sehun felt himself getting weaker with each push.

“jongin,” he gasped, “i’m so—“

the other silenced him with his lips, swallowing his breathy words. “me too,” he replied, body slowing. for a painful moment, they just stopped. hips not snapping. their skin pressed against each other. moans not longer filled the room but gasps for air. it was a beautiful but blissless moment sehun wasn’t sure he wanted to end or continue. but just as jongin stopped, he held sehun tighter and moved him to the bed. arms wrapped tightly around him, chests pressed together as he continued where he left off.

“you first,” jongin smiled against his skin, snapping his hips into sehun. pleasure made them sloppier but he still managed to hit sehun’s sweet spot faultlessly. he spilled over their stomachs. perfectly undone with moans and cried. sehun’s orgasm only helped jongin. walls wrapped tight around him only became tighter. milking him perfectly as he fucked sehun sensitive.

finishing inside him, jongin collapsed against sehun’s chest. their lungs gasping for air and the moment the room stopped spinning for jongin, he peppered kisses along sehun’s skin. humming softly.

“you’re unreal,” he sighed, kissing sehun’s forehead. pads of his fingers brushing away hair that clung to his sticky forehead. “i swear, where have you been my whole life.”

a question that went unanswered.

as sehun’s eyes fluttered, jongin shook him lightly.

“i need to get cleaned up,” his voice groggy.

strong arms curled around him and jongin pressed the other against his chest. carrying him into the bathroom and began to fill the tub with warm water before setting sehun in.

“i’m going to take care of you,” he purred, pressing his lips to the other’s temple. 


	2. Chapter 2

sehun woke up and the night before him felt like a blur. sun trickled into the room and he swore it was all a dream. a dream that he had had many variations of before, but never as vivid as this. jongin had appeared in many dreams of his before. plump lips meeting sensitive skin. the settings were always different. and while his favorite had always been the meadow, the vivid color and realness of last night may have taken its spot.

warmth pressed against his back and he groaned. “vivi, move,” sleepily he moaned at his dog, trying to swat him away.

“who’s vivi?” a velvet voice rang through his ears, arms wrapping around him, “not a girlfriend, i hope.”

sehun blinked hard, rolling over and rubbed his eyes.

“i.....” nothing could come from his mouth.

“good morning to you too,” jongin pressed his lips against sehun’s temple. “hope i didn’t scare you.”

“no.... no of course not,” sehun assessed his surroundings, realizing he wasn’t not in his own home. “i just, forgot.”

“you forgot about me?” jongin’s lips pressed into a playful pout and sehun had the strong urge to kiss it away. tell him no. never. eighteen years had passed since their first meeting— six since their last, and sehun had yet to brush him off. sehun replied with just a nod and jongin sighed. a smile replaced his pout. he unconsciously grabbed his hand, counting the slender digits and delicately and mindlessly pressed kisses against them. “what did you dream of?” jongin looked up, “you moved and mumbled so much. it was adorable.”

“nothing— it’s a bit embarrassing,” red flooded to sehun’s cheeks.

this only aroused jongin more, crawling up closer to sehun and looking at him curiously. “you can tell me, i’ll try not to laugh or tease.”

his free hand glided over sehun’s bare chest. goosebumps rose onto his skin as he grazed his nipple. it didn’t go unnoticed by jongin, but he stayed silent, allowing sehun to speak. “you. or so i thought. i’m wondering now if last night happened in my dreams or if...” he trailed off as jongin’s fingers trailed to his neck before pressing down on a blooming bruise.

“if it really happened?” jongin’s eyes didn’t meet his. licking his lips, he scanned over sehun. “you’re a bit dreamy to me too. i think we’ve met in dreams before. because something about you feels so familiar.”

“we’ve met before.”

sehun’s words were spit out with haste and no tact. they caused the other’s attention to snap up, mouth gaping. “what?”

“when i was younger. we met. i was only a kid. and then again... when i was in high school.”

jongin’s face went pale.

“me?” his finger pressed against his chest. “you’re sure?”

sehun nodded. taking a gulp. “it sounds dumb. i know. but i was a little boy and you were— we’ll just as beautiful and striking as you were last night. as you are right now. you won me some stupid stuffed animal at a pizza place. and i thought you were the most incredible human to exist.” he watched as jongin nodded, face telling him nothing.

jongin stayed silent, dropping his head and pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose. sehun too was quiet, just for a beat.

“i didn’t think you were real after that. poof, the striking man i saw was gone. you were surreal and built up in my head. but then i saw you again.” jongin’s eyes fluttered up, meeting sehun’s. “i was a teen at a gas station. you bought my friends and i alcohol. and fuck— you were just as unearthly.”

he lifted his hands, cupping jongin’s face. he flinched.

“and again last night. you were in my dreams. but last night... i can’t believe you’re real.”

jongin looked at him with skeptical eyes. brows furrowed. sehun had never seen such a cold expression from his golden gaze. “are you following me?” his words were slow. deliberate.

sehun shivered at the tone. “no.” the question didn’t offend him, just confused.

“why didn’t you say anything,” he tore away from sehun’s grasp, legs dangling over the edge of the bed.

“you would’ve thought i was crazy. you would’ve pushed me away. i just didn’t want to lose what i could’ve had, what i wanted... i don’t know.”

“fuck,” jongin exhaled. he turned back to look at sehun. he could see the sadness in his eyes. the misplaced feeling of rejection. he crawled back to him. “sehun?” as the other met his gaze, he pulled him closer, laying into him and pressing their lips together. he could feel the confusion as their lips connected. he could feel sehun’s move with hesitancy but it didn’t take long for them to move in sync. “fuck,” he said again, breaking their kiss. searching sehun’s eyes, jongin sighed. sadness falling over his features. “i remember you too. i didn’t last night. and each time we met, you were new to me. but i remember you. i remember your red, crying eyes. i remember that little boy. and the sullen teen, i remember him too. you.... grew up.”

he curled back into sehun, lips meeting his neck and legs tangled. “jongin?” he asked, voice weak.

“hm?”

“how... how old are you?”

silence was held in the air for a moment. he could feel jongin’s heartbeat quicken.

“i’m twenty-four.”

“and when we met the first time?”

“i was twenty-four.”

sehun didn’t think he was necessarily entitled to some sort of explanation, but he couldn’t go without one. and he didn’t want a lie.

“you’re not a vampire, are you?” he winced.

to this, jongin chuckled. pressing his lips against his cheek and held him close. “if i told you, you’d never believe me.”

sehun shifted, landing himself in jongin’s warm grasp. their eyes meeting. he wondered what jongin saw in him. why he didn’t kick out immediately. “you could try,” he murmured, eyes trailing over his exposed skin. nothing had changed since last night, not really.

“you know the stories about the fountain of youth? or immortality?” jongin’s cheeks were red. ears and chest too. he felt silly. when sehun nodded, he exhaled. “my brothers and i stumbled upon a spring a long time ago. a long, long time ago. and drank from it. we didn’t know anything about it at the time but years went by and we realized...”

“you guys are the kims,” sehun whispered, eyes wide.

“is that really a thing?” his laugh was soft. almost embarrassed.

“chanyeol was convinced you guys existed. he recognized you. but kyungsoo said you weren’t real. that you were a town legend.”

“we exist... unfortunately. we have to leave, you know? at least for a few generations. and then we can come back and live. we can’t stay away too long. this... it’s our hometown too. we were born here. grew up here. our parents are buried here. we were supposed to grow old too. it’s home.”

“you’re fucking with me?”

“i wish. i wish. it was that simple. i wish it made sense. god, i wish i was dea—“ sehun stopped him. pressing their lips together with haste. he held jongin’s head in his hands, their bodies against each other.

“no,” sehun’s voice was quiet. the words that threatened to escape jongin’s mouth made sehun’s gut churn. he couldn’t hear them. it was beginning to dawn on him that jongin wasn’t a mythical creature. he was real and raw and he made sehun feel something. he had to erase the built up person in his head. still, the hazy memories he had made him fond of the other. the moments he had with jongin impacted him. “i don’t wish that.”

sehun’s kindness, his warmth made something move in jongin. feelings he didn’t know he had. feelings he often left untouched. he had gone decades without allowing himself affection. he had gone through wars and landmarks without attachments other than his brothers. but what sehun said lit something in him. it didn’t absolve him of these feelings, they were still strong. but he felt something.

it had been too long.

“sehun?” the name sounded sweet from his tongue, “you are unreal.”

their lips met again. jongin’s hands sweeping down the pale expanse, brushing over his pelvis and settling between his legs.

the moan that was pulled from him was lecherous. it was the sweetest melody jongin had heard.

..

they exchanged numbers and went their separate ways; each had something to swallow.

jongin had connected. he was no longer numb to the feeling of affection. allowed himself the throw out the lifeline. sehun catching it was another story. he hoped. he hoped. he hoped that sehun was who he thought he was. who he wanted.

fingers covered young eyes after a long drive towards the woods on the edge of the town. they made their way over trails and swept by trees. jongin gave sehun no answer as to where he was leading in, just that it was important.

“it’s my special spot,” he whispered in sehun’s ear, pressing his lips against the spot just below it. “only my brothers and i have been here. my parents too, a long time ago.”

chills shivered through sehun at the thought of being somewhere so sacred to the older. the idea of sharing this with him made me excited. it made him nervous.

“what if you’re just trailing me through the woods and then leave me. helpless and alone.” the younger whined.

“because i couldn’t do that to you,” the older sighed. “okay... open them.”

sehun gasped. the stood atop a small hill. below them was lush green grass and wildflowers danced within it, tree surrounded the meadow. a small breeze moved the wildlife gently. sehun was in awe. he felt jongin surrounding him in every corner.

“it’s beautiful, right?” he snaked his arm around sehun’s waist.

it was the meadow in his dreams. a place that felt far and unearthly was under his feet. an arms length away. he smiled fondly, eyes growing glassy as he looked it over. his gaze falling to jongin.

“it’s... i’m speechless. jongin what is this place?”

“it’s where it happened,” he sighed before dragging sehun down the hill with him. “this is where my brothers and i... drank. this is where i go when i have any strong feelings. happiness, sadness. i have strong feelings for you, i think and i want to be here with you.”

at the bottom of the hill there was a spring that dribbled into a small stream and off out of the meadow.

“jongin, i....” sehun had no words. nothing could come out. all he could do was offer a glossy gaze. watching as the other sauntered away, looking back with a soft smirk. they settled in the beside the spring. jongin’s arms cradled sehun against him and for moment they were at peace. nothing could touch them— nothing but each other.

the silence moved them. their eyes searched each other’s and smiles settled onto their lips.

“i can’t believe you brought me here,” sehun’s fingers absentmindedly played with the buttons on jongin’s shirt. popping them open. it had been weeks since their first encounter and sehun could still see red lines left by his fingers on the other’s chest.

“i can’t believe i brought you here. i don’t regret it but i’ve never let anyone else see this place. i’ve never thought to. but god, this meadow has memories. and it feels right. you here... it’s right.”

red moved over sehun’s cheeks, fingers trailing from jongin’s chest to his cheeks. “it’s right.”

“something about you feels right,” the older leaned down, brushing their lips together, fingers slipping under sehun’s shirt.

...

they continued talking, connecting. each grew reserved. talking only in the late nights. but that was when they were both raw.

“tell me about your life,” sehun smiled into the phone.

“what do you want to know?” the bass boomed below him downstairs, wanting to lure him out but he settled in bed.

“do you remember being a child?”

he could hear the sad sigh on the other end.

“no,” jongin said softly, “no i don’t.”

sehun desperately wanted to be there with him. to comfort any sadness he felt. to give feeling to the numbness. he could hear breathing on the other end.

“i don’t mind it all the time. there’s just some moments when i wish i could remember it fondly, you know?”

sehun didn’t. he could remember far back, he could remember nostalgia and the way everything felt big and bright. he could remember the bliss and the ease. the feeling was gone mostly but he remembered it.

jongin filled the silence. “i’ve found happiness since then, sehun,” a smile was hinted in his voice. “i’ve travelled and i’ve met some great people— granted our relationships have been short lived, but they’ve been good.”

he wanted tell jongin that they didn’t have to be short lived. it sounded pathetic but he would waste the rest of his youth with him. his adulthood too. he already spent most of his childhood thinking of him. he realized how silly it would look, old man sehun with perfect, youthful jongin. withered and florescent. “you don’t have to live like that...” his voice was small, words came out as a mumble.

the words went unheard, feelings unknown to the other. “what baby?”

“i said you don’t have to live like that. you know? i’d stay with you until i was old. we can make memories, ones you can’t forget. all that good stuff.”

jongin was speechless. breathless. unsure as to where to tread next. sehun’s words moved him, they touched him in places he thought died decades ago. he wanted to say yes. to beg for the younger to stay with him; companionship never felt like an option. he wanted it so badly— he had even more selfish thoughts. the idea of immortality. he wanted to take sehun back to the spring. he wanted to take sehun everywhere, forever.

sehun’s words had been kind, self sacrificing. and jongin wasn’t sure a million silly stuffed animals and cheap bottles of alcohol would allow him to deserve such a man. he knew he couldn’t find sehun in anyone else; there were no carbon copies with his mind, body, and soul. jongin wanted to say yes. he wanted to keep sehun.

but he couldn’t. and it was unfair to steal anymore time from him.

“i have to go,” jongin’s voice grew cold.

the line went dead and sehun’s gut dropped.

...

jongin knew how to disappear. the kims had made an art of it. that was how they survived. it was how they went undiscovered. they became experts at slipping away in the night.

“i want to leave,” jongin’s place as the youngest kim was very obvious. his bottom lip jutted out, arms crossed over his chest. “jongdae, you said you’ve wanted to stay in amsterdam, i think we have the money for it. the bar is successful, i think it would sell with ease.”

each of his brothers looked at him with curiosity.

“i’m not leaving the bar,” minseok’s voice held power, “i’m happy here. i’m happy with the life i’ve made and the person i am.”

junmyeon’s fingers curled against his chin, watching way jongin fidgeted and squirmed. “why do you want to leave so bad?”

“just itching to see more i suppose,” he shrugged.

they didn’t buy it. they didn’t question it.

“i don’t want to love him. i don’t want to hold him back,” he muttered. and while his brothers didn’t know who he was, they knew the feeling.

with heavy hearts, they let their brother go. they watched him leave. they didn’t know where or when he’d come back, but he was gone.

...

weeks flew by with no word from jongin. no texts, no calls. no visits or touches or affection. he could remember the warm void he felt as a child, as a teen when jongin stopped being real and became a memory.

it hurt more this time.

it didn’t dull when kyungsoo and chanyeol noticed his sadness. he didn’t know how to tell them of jongin. of his significance. all they knew was that sehun was hung up on a guy we slept with at the bar. beyond that he was nameless. shapeless. he wished it was that simple.

so when they dragged him to said bar in an attempt to raise his spirits, it did everything but that. he spent the night lingering by the dance floor, remembering their sinful moves. and shuffling around in the alley, somehow managing to smoke a pack of cigarettes.

but as the night died down, he settled himself on a barstool. head settled in his hands.

“what can i get for you?” the bartender asked.

he was beautiful. familiar too. he remembered him from the night he met jongin. he remembered his eyes from the pizzeria. and the gas station. sehun’s stomach clenched.

something buzzed in him too. smiling to himself.

“make me something delicious,” he grinned, dragging his finger along the counter.

the bartender nodded, a bit dubious but did as he was told. it wasn’t until he returned with a drink that he questioned it.

“we’ve met before?” his voice slow.

“indirectly, yes.”

“where?” a brow quirked.

“here. literally right here. i came in with,” he paused before saying his name. almost unable to, his mouth growing dry, “i came in with jongin. he got us drinks. it was a few months ago.”

the bartender grinned. “it’s you.”

this made sehun glow red. “it’s me. i’m sehun?”

“minseok, his brother. it’s a pleasure to meet the ominous ‘him’. you don’t disappoint.” he tilted his head.

“can i asked— how is he?” he tried not to sound too eager.

“he doesn’t call much. and we’ve gotten a few postcards. when jongin leaves us, he stays quiet. in his head mostly. dunno much more,” minseok shrugged.

“do you know when he’ll come back?”

“hard to say, he could be gone from a long, long time.”

“i’ll wait,” he snapped.

“kid, he could be gone for a very long ti—“ sehun cut him off.

“i know... everything. i know everything. i’ll wait.”

minseok sighed, looking over sehun. and sehun couldn’t help but to look back. he was jongin’s older brother, god knew how much older he was than sehun. there was no aging in his face. he looked much younger.

it was then that it dawned on him.

“when you talk to him next, tell him i’ll wait for him to come back. tell him i’ll wait forever.”

with haste he stood, rushing from the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter felt a bit slow but i did make progress. i hope you are still enjoying!
> 
> thank you for the love last chapter, seeing kudos/comments/bookmarks always motivates me and more will always be appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i really thought i had abandoned this. but inspiration struck me. this chapter is mostly catching up and tying ends. BARE WITH ME. i won’t leave ya hanging like i did — i actually hope to finish this and post the final tomorrow <3

the years were kind to sehun, but how could they not be? immortality suited him; face stayed taut. he stayed young and beautiful. and there was something interesting about watching his friendships continue through his youthful eyes.

he saw everything.

he graduated from college. and did so several times. masters, phd, and beyond. immorality meant he needed less sleep; less sleep meant he could stretch himself thin with no consequences. the knowledge he collected was far more than anyone his age— though he knew his advantage was unfair. his mindset expanded and he became the person he had wanted to be. the person he dreamed of. knowing that time and age could not limit him.

it did sadden him, after a while of no aging and growing tired of some friends questions. “what moisturizers do you use?” “how do you stay looking so fresh?” “have you gotten work done?” yes he grew very weary of those sorts of questions. opting to travel for work. he would send postcards. he wouldn’t lose complete contact. it was lonely but it was survival.

this wasn’t enough for kyungsoo and chanyeol however. his best friends missed him. they needed him in their lives— close since childhood meant they needed consistency, to watch him fade away into letters and cards was wrong.

“when are you coming home?” kyungsoo’s tired voice would ask.

“when i can,” he’d reply with a shrug.

this answer never sufficed and the pestering continued.

they had aged to forty when sehun gave up. coming home sounded bitter. his parents had passed, a death he took hard and alone. and many of his friends had forgotten him. he needed kyungsoo and chanyeol.

“when you see me,” his voice held hesitancy, “don’t gasp and please let me explain.”

chanyeol just laughed. accusing him of having some scary scar or terrible plastic surgery. but still, promised to do as he was asked.

it was terrifying, preparing to see the people who knew him at his core. a piece of sehun knew he should’ve told them years ago. he should’ve told them when he made the decision. but their reactions— that terrified him.

they invited him to their home and before the front door he stood, hands shaking. nerves wracking him as he knocked.

kyungsoo opened the door to greet him, eyes widened and lips parted. “sehun?” he covered his mouth with a gasp. “sehun? what...” it was almost as if he had seen a ghost. a ghost of days passed, of their youth.

“hi kyungsoo,” he stepped forward, there was no hesitancy from his friend as he wrapped his arms around him. “it’s me. i’ve missed you.”

“you look so...” he pulled back slightly, cupping the younger’s head in his hands. disbelief moved over his features. “young.”

“can i come in? it’s a bit cold,” they both shivered with a chuckle before shuffling in.

“did i hear seh—“ chanyeol’s booming voice was silenced for once, stepping from the kitchen he paused. “sehunnie?”

“it’s me yeol,” he sighed. eyes watering. he could see the years in both of their eyes. crackling along their eyes. lines from worries and furrowed brows. part of him envied them.

“you look just like you did when...” long limbs took long strides to sehun, arms reached out as kyungsoo’s did. only chanyeol pinched his cheeks. pulling to test the elasticity. the shorter stood behind him, watching just as curious.

“when we were twenty-three,” he exhaled.

“what?” they chimed. the specificity definitely caught them up.

sehun brushes off their touches, moving to their sofa, rubbing the spots beside him as an invitation. “i can explain.”

“i’d hope so,” kyungsoo’s voice held the same sternness it always had. chanyeol cozied himself in sehun’s warmth.

“do you guys remember the kims?”

chanyeol’s eyes lit up, just like when they were young. “the kims aren’t real,” kyungsoo reminded them.

“they are,” sehun winced. “they’re as real as chanyeol always said. and they.... they’re immortal.”

“i knew it!” chanyeol gasped, body threatening to spring from the seat though sehun kept him anchored. the taller cackled with delight. kyungsoo simply shook his head. brow furrowed.

“and i am too.” quiet he grew to gauge their reactions. chanyeol looked like a child, let in on a big secret. kyungsoo, dubious. “you don’t believe me, i understand why. i never trusted chanyeol’s stories when we were kids. but it’s true. i met a kim. the one that got me the toy, the alcohol too— it sounds so dumb. you guys probably don’t remember any of these times. but i met him. that night at the club though i’m sure you don’t remember that either.”

sehun paused sucking in a deep breath.

“we went to that club one night, i was lonely as always. and he... well we hit it off and talked for a bit — jongin. maybe you remember the name. it was brief, what we had together. relatively speaking i suppose. and maybe i was an idiot. but we really connected. i thought i had found my love like, well, you.”

they smiled fondly at the thought of their sehunnie being in love. “so?” chanyeol egged him on with a beam.

“when things moved fast, when we seemed to be so passionate, he ghosted. he up and left. i think i sensed it before it happened. he got scared and ran i guess.” licking his lips, sehun could see the anger fuming in his friends. “i understand why he did it. for both of us. and i understand it so much more now. it’s lonely living like this but you don’t want to be attached to people— seeing you guys is even hard because i know someday,” sehun gulped, “you can’t live a full life with someone. immortality puts a big barrier between you.”

“then why’d you do it, sehun?” kyungsoo’s voice was stern as ever. in his age, despite having no kids, it was almost like a father.

“i loved him. i think i love him still. if he came back.....” sehun felt tears prick his eyes.

“even after all this time? you’d still want to be with him?” chanyeol’s voice was deep. soothing.

“yes.” rubbing his eyes softly, sehun blinked away his sadness and smiled at his friends. “feed me and let’s get to writing your wills. you can leave everything to me.”

to this, they wrapped their arms tightly around him. burying him in their love.

—

though he had known it all along, immortality was lonely. despairingly so. sehun lived as jongin did, flitting from place to place, keeps bf friendships at arms lengths. still traveling for work and showing up only when necessary. he even tried to starve himself of sleep to create age. makeup too. it was artificial though and did not want anyone to catch on. he became illusive and curious to others but nobody charged him or questioned it deeply.

physically, he was twenty-three. but in reality, he was seventy-six when he returned home. forged documents said that kyungsoo and chanyeol had children. sehun being their only living grandson — the faux life tickled chanyeol, it felt like an adventure.

his old friends needed care. taking them to a facility and visiting them almost daily.

“find him,” their brows would furrow with sadness and concern. this was no life for sehun to live. “find him or find someone else. this cannot be your life sehun.”

sehun didn’t expect for them to be right. to listen to their advice.

—

the bar still stood, decorated to fit the times and style, but it was still the kim’s bar. and the idea of passing through terrified him.

settling in the barstool as he did when he was younger, he smiled at a familiar face. changed hair but their sharp, beautiful features stuck. he eyed him, trying desperately to place the face.”

“make me something delicious,” he ordered when the bartender came to him. timid smile pressed against his lips. minseok’s eyes went wide.

“sehun... you...”

he just nodded. minseok knew the story. “i meant it when i told you i’d wait forever for him. i will. i really did. he had took me to the meadow, your meadow. i remembered where it was. and i—“

“you drank,” minseok cut him off with mild concern sehun just nodded. “and how has life treated you?”

“i’m rich, educated. my best friends are now my grandparents. and i’m lonely. i-i miss him.”

minseok nodded and gulped. “him too— i shouldn’t divulge any big secrets but... he’s not going to return until you’re dead. seriously. he’s terrified. at least he was last time we spoke. said he thought if he saw you, even as an old man with a family, he’d still be in love. he’d still take you. so now it’s a waiting game.”

“but i’m not old! i don’t have a family!” sehun raised his voice lightly. “i’ll wait but...”

“i can’t convince him. if i said that, he’d spiral into guilt about ruining your life. stealing your youth — i’ll try to find a way to bring him home. just wait sehunnie.”

it made his gut churn and he didn’t quite trust that it was possible but sehun nodded.

—

he didn’t expect to find friendship in the kims but here he sat. when he wasn’t working or at the nursing home with kyungsoo and chanyeol — no, grandfather and grandpappy — he was at the kim’s bar. jongdae and junmyeon became more than dreamy strangers and minseok was his guide. he told sehun all about their life, what he remembered, experienced. he showed blurry pictures from their hazy days and became a confidant for sehun.

he found himself settled on a barstool more often than not.

but on days like today, he wanted to be invisible.

it was late, far later than he expected to be there. minseok would never kick him out, just make him lock up. but rather than drag themselves upstairs to soft beds, they sat with sehun.

the doors creaked on and heavy footsteps followed.

“i-i’m home.” the voice was soft. tired. sad?

it ached with familiarity. decades had flown by and yet sehun knew that voice so well.

junmyeon sprung from his seat to meet him, arms wrapped around his baby brother. the other two followed. sehun did not dare to look over his shoulder. he knew.

knees hit the floor with a hard thud, silent sobs turned louder whimpers.

“everyone i’ve ever known has died. but this one,” he paused, sucking in a deep breath, “this one hurts so much more. i-i saw more with him. why did i not stay with him through his life? when is his viewing. have you seen him recently? s-should i—“

sehun could not take the tears anymore, the hypothetical death.

“hi,” his voice came out small. very soft.

jongin didn’t look up. he trembled and his brothers backed away.

“hi,” his voice came out louder. knees met the floor and his fingers curled around jongin’s wrist. “hi,” came out again feeling stupid for how little he had to say — no, that’s nice right. he had so much to say, but his vocal chords snapped.

raw eyes glanced up at sehun. cheeks stained with tears and his mouth quivered. one by one, the other brothers slipped away. leaving sehun and jongin alone on the bar floor. “this is a cruel joke,” the older sobbed as his eyes searched the other’s face, “you’re a ghost to remind me of my mistakes. my eyes are playing tricks on me.”

hands curled at the sides of sehun’s cheeks and he nuzzled softly into the touch. nothing had changed. not much. “you’ve made no mistakes,” he whispered, balling the fabric of jongin’s shirt beneath his fingers, “you survived how you knew to and i will not fault you for much. my heart did break in your absence but... you have forever to fix it.”

his words ignited something strong in jongin. pulling sehun closer into his lap and pressing their lips together. it was hot. hotter than anything sehun had felt in a long time.

he pulled sehun against his chest. “come away with me,” he mumbled in sehun’s ear.

and sehun swore he had the worst case of deja vu.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i finished it. when i paused on this story, i really didn't think i would get back into it and finish. i thought it would stay untouched forever. but a reader really sparked my interest and inspired me to continue, so thank you for that burst of motivation.
> 
> i really hope everyone enjoys it and this is an ending you're pleased with.
> 
> i didn't proof read so all mistakes... please forgive them.
> 
> as always, comments + kudos lift me up and are greatly appreciated <3

when sehun's eyes fluttered open the next morning, he truly believed he had traveled through time. it was the only resasonable explanation. either that or his entire life had all been a dream.

not much had changed from the night he first met jongin, not much at all. he woke with an aching body. propping himself up on his elbows and scanning the room around him. virtually the same. and when his eyes fell to the still body beside him, he truly felt hazy. like life had been a dream. that this moment had been just a simply part of a dream. childishly, he pinched himself, wondering if that would shake him from this.

"you're not dreaming," a sleepy voice beside him rasped. he laid back down next to jongin, soft smile on his lips. "i barely believe it, but it's not a dream." they both sighed and jongin's strong arms snaked around sehun's sides. the night before held no explanations. jongin did not question why sehun was alive. why he was young. but rather tears spilled from each of their eyes and sehun was reminded of what it was like to be full of jongin again. soft whimpers spilling through their lips, hungry kisses swallowing each of them. no, last night was for reacquainting on a physical level. passionate. carnal. this morning, however, jongin's gaze was stern. sehun could feel himself growing smaller beside the man. "h-how?" it was a simple question. one that would require a long explanation.

"you left me," sehun's voice was small, "you left me and i went mad. i didn't want anyone else for the rest of my life. i knew that. i knew that when we met. when i was young. i knew that when i was a little boy or a gawky teen. i knew that in the club or in your bed after and on the phone and with each meeting, each conversation — my hunch only grew stronger. i'm laying in your arms now... now after decades of deprivation and i'm still just as certain. fuck. it's you. the time away only made me miserable and so certain. and i know you've lived like this for a very long time so if i'm just another person you've met and—"

lips silenced sehun. they pressed against his hard. shutting him up. "you are not just another person i have met, sehun. i do not say that to simply flatter you. but because that is my real truth. i would be lying if i said that i did not have many lovers in my long lifetime. but none of them set my life ablaze as you did. i ran... i left you so wordlessly and i'm sorry. i will be forever sorry for that but..." he paused, sucking in a deep breath, "i did not want this for you. i did not want this life for you. your family has died, your friends will die. and you will live almost namelessly."

"w-with you," sehun said, his voice quiet.

"with me," jongin gulped though his features softened. "for so long i wanted someone to love — my brothers are the most incredible people i could have ever asked for. providing for me, guiding me. they've allowed me so many blunders and disappearances and when i return home, their arms are open and eyes soft. i've only had mild tousles with jongdae and many scoldings from junmyeon but never have they rejected me. i have always been able to come home. but it's a child's home... you know? immortality is beautiful and magical initially. when you travel and gain wealth and knowledge and have so many experiences you could never have in your wildest dreams as a mortal but it gets old. i craved a home. the warmth of a lover... a lover i did not have to see die. you have made my dreams come true but... you have given up your life." jongin's eyes were sad. tears trickling from the corners.

gentle lips kissed them away. "i have not given anything up. you have not taken anything from me. you've gifted me love, jongin. you were kind to me when i was a young boy, a teenager — because that is your nature. you did not do those things for me then with the idea of whisking me away. and perhaps we were hasty, our first night together. perhaps we were reckless and foolish but i had an inkling. i knew your lore," he paused with a wry grin, "i made this decision myself."

"how though..."

sehun blushed. remembering far back to when he grew restless and his heart ached. "i was... desperate. i felt stupid and rejected and like i could not breathe without you. that you were gone. i went to minseok, truthfully, and he told me how you lived when you left. that they could not reach you but you were hurting too. i wish he could have told you. i wish your brothers knew my fate sooner so we could have this sooner. i remembered where you took me. the meadow was engraved in my mind so i carried myself there. i cried alone for a long in the lush green grass. i remembered making love to you there and the taste of your sweet lips. i even remember what the wildflowers looked like, plucked and placed in your hair. i remember what it felt like to feel full — full of your love, full of you. i found the spring you showed me and drank from it. and my life changed... it changed so much. my friends, they forgot me. all except chanyeol and kyungsoo. my new grandparents," he smirked, "but i've had wild success and many small adventures that i feel lucky to have had. i wish, however, they were spent with..."

"with me," jongin sighed. "i wish i would have come home sooner."

"minseok said you would not come home until i was surely dead."

jongin's head hung low, nodding softly. "that is true. i... if i would have seen you in your old age with a lover, with a family. i would want to steal you away. i am unbelievably selfish sehun. i would want so much more than a final glance. i would want a life. the rest of yours. and i was curious then but i have nothing but certainty now that you would give it to me."

"are you happy? that i am alive. that i'm... like you."

jongin gnawed at his bottom lip. "no," he exhaled, watching as sehun's face fell, only to cup his cheeks in his hand. "when i saw you last night, i prayed that i was dead. that this was a beautiful, blissful afterlife where i can have you. but it is not. however, when my guilt subsides and you are still happy with your immortality, then i will be happy that you are alive. i wanted more for you. but my selfish wishes have come true."

sehun beamed, pressing jongin's shoulders into the mattress with a smirk as he climbed above him.

"are you not tired from last night?" jongin smoothed his fingers over sehun's thighs, brow raised.

"exhausted, absolutely exhausted," he replied, "but we have decades of fucking to make up for. i was celibate kim jongin and there were many times i needed you."

a dreamy sighed that split into a moan slipped from jongin's lips as sehun began to tease him.

"fuck me like you did when we were twenty-three, jongin," he purred.

"we are twenty-three, sehunnie."

—

jongin had promised sehun to show him the world and this was a promise he had kept. running away with him to show him all his little corners of the world, where he hid during those long years. sehun thought the meadow held intimacy — and it did, he had never seen such a magical place; one with wonder and the story of the kims began there. but there was something about knowing where jongin ran to like a child that felt deeper. he could see the vulnerability in his eyes.

"even my brothers don't know about this place," he would say quietly as he took sehun to a new destination. curled up in their hotel bed after a long day of jongin history. it was like he was seeing him naked.

sehun's life was simple, his life was impactful but before he formally met jongin, it was tantalizingly mundane. there were times when he wished he had lived as his parents did. blissfully in love, growing together and growing a family — finally dying. but sehun liked the idea of seeing the world. of seeing life through the ages. there was something appealing about it, though he knew the lust for living in such a way would dull in decades, maybe centuries. but the love he felt for jongin, he prayed would never stop.

the lives jongin lived were incredible, he took sehun to battlefields of wars he fought in. leveled grounds of places he had frequented, homes he had lived in. establishments that were long closed and once owned by his brothers. he even tracked down the immortal lovers of his brothers too. sehun's eyes widened with each of them.

"you can't possibly think my brothers are so selfless to live only for each other. for themselves. i think junmyeon and yixing might be speaking again — i'm not entirely sure. jongdae and baekhyun though... they're not. haven't been for almost twenty years after some silly feud. minseok, my sweet brother, refuses to leave home. he's been in that town for decades.. i suppose you know that," he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle, "his lover, luhan, wants to live together in china. he was born centuries before us and wants to root himself there, at least for a bit. but minseok, he's too attached to our hometown for now. one of them will crawl back tot he other eventually, i'm sure."

sehun looked to jongin with sweet, curious eyes. "am i your first?" he asked salaciously, though with no malice.

"my first what?" jongin cocked his head to the side.

"your brothers have these great, long love affairs with drama and longing. perhaps you have your own lover and i'm just your mistress of the century. or maybe your person is gone."

jongin shoved sehun into the brick of an italian alleyway. lanterns softly lighting the dark hours of the night. "you're my great, long love affair. perhaps its because i'm the youngest, but i have never had a long term lover. a few years, yes. and maybe nights. but you're the longest i've loved somebody. especially with the distance. i've forgotten most others. in years. but you, after decades still clung to my mind. you clawed your way into my dreams."

happily, sehun beamed, pressing his lips against jongin's neck. "you're awfully sappy, kim jongin."

—

jongin had shown sehun all his sides. he had been raw and vulnerable and showed him all the places that touched his heart. spoke of many people who stuck to him. he did not spare any details and let sehun in on his secrets. and now, it was sehun's turn.

the sky hung over them, grey and gloomy, as they made their way through their hometown. autumn was not over but winter scratched at the feet. damp, cold air nipping at their skin. jongin's hand pressed firmly against the small of sehun's back as they passed through the looming gates. the rows smiled at each of them, taunting a six foot trench neither would ever climb down. sehun had not visited them yet. he had not seen their large stones. bought them, yes, but he had yet to sit before them.

"mother, father," he sighed, fingers skimming over the rocks that shared his name. below him were his parents. his eyes watered. "you expect to lose them," his eyes could not meet jongin's as he spoke, "parents are supposed to die but, why must we out live them for so long." dead grass was beneath his bum, the older stood behind him.

blinking his tears away, sehun sighed. he did miss his parents. he missed being juvenile and needy. he did not miss the way they asked him if he would give them grandchildren. or beg him to marry. they did not understand. whatever afterlife they were living in now, he prayed that they understood and accepted his life choices.

lifting himself from the ground, he made his way towards the gates, stopping only when jongin grabbed his wrist and pulling him back. his brows raised, tilting his head to the side knowingly. "i think it's time, sehunnie."

sehn could feel his chest tighten. tears pricking his eyes as he wanted so desperately to run away. jongin was right though. he needed to move forward.

moving back rows, his steps felt heavy. he wasn't sure how he could move on. not from this. it wasn't until he stood before the twin tombstones that he felt his gut drop. falling to his knees, he sobbed. his chest caved in, wailing at the sight.

this is when he knew that he should be dead too.

"kyungsoo..." he sighed, before echoing, "chanyeol. my best friends. my best grandparents." words could not spill from him. when they passed, he could not stomach it, it could not attend their funerals. finding the simple silver lining of this: kyungsoo died first. old and in his nineties. he spoke to his grandson, sehun, almost daily. and his husband still loved him more than anything. they had grown old physically but their adoration, their love had youth.

chanyeol stayed only a couple days longer. ever since they were children, sehun could remember chanyeol trailing behind kyungsoo with hearts in his eyes. bright and excited. he could only assume that that was the way he went too. not that his heart was broken for those few days without his love, but rather just following in suit. that's how life had been.

his eyes were raw when he said his goodbyes and his long awaited hellos. jongin eventually settling behind him and wrapping his limbs around sehun. enveloping him as he allowed the younger to let it all out. he wanted to absolve him of this pain — he even wanted to turn back the clock and stay away. but he knew that this was the life sehun had allowed. he wanted. they had finally gotten their groove back, after over a decade.

wiping his face with his sleeve, he pulled away from jongin, lifting up from the ground and pulling the older with him. "okay," he sighed. "i've had my fill."

jongin just nodded, lacing their fingers together. "let's go home."

—

on a summer night, the meadow proved to be the perfect place for them. crickets chirped sweet lullabies into their ears and the heat cooled off after sunset. sehun curled into jongin's arms. smiling fondly as he would remember the first time he was brought here. remembering the second time he dragged himself alone. remembering the countless times they returned. tumbling down the soft foot hills with laughter spilling from their lips. jongin looked especially ethereal, giggles pressing into sehun's skin.

"i am happy," the younger confessed, sky full of stars, his eyes had them too.

jongin looked down at him with half lidded eyes. "mmmm?" he was tired though he would never confess to it.

"i truly am. there was so much in life that i should have experienced. so much in life that i should have had. and maybe in another life... you will give it to me. if we do miraculously die, i would want to find you again. you are truly my soulmate. my perfect, my love," jongin nuzzled into sehun's neck, burrowing into his skin to hide his smile, "but this life is not bad. i'm glad to have you. to be with you. fully. in our everlasting love."

**Author's Note:**

> so ends part one and i haven’t even gotten to the good, thick stuff. i hope you’ve enjoyed so far and anticipate more! HOPEFULLY i’ll finish this in two parts but i’m not sure if that’s how it’ll go. 
> 
> kudos/comments are always appreciated and an incredible motivator. thank you to all who do it. 
> 
> (ps someday i will learn to write the sexy times well)


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